My only comment right now would be on the cover the knife looks really strange maybe make it look more like a knife or place it differently and then the W in what and M in men is the only part of ur typeface that isn't connecting to anything else I would have them connect like the rest of the words
I like the second and third the most, at first I liked the cover but after close inspection I find its missing something. I feel like maybe a different color text would have been a bit nicer and stand out but not seem separate from the border images. The second I like only thing that bothers me is the N being separate from the EWS it need to get closer or they all need to separate.
2 things on the feature spread: First, I have no problem with the logo but the hand seems to be a tad distracting for me. What if you add the white dots under the hand so it seems as if the hand is dropping them into the title so that it creates a flow from the logo the entire way to your body copy. Second, the gutter is to small for me. You may want to add some space there to let the copy breath.
Jose - you have some good feedback above, and I'll add my thoughts here:
1. Cover: The typeface with swashes is an interesting choice, especially with the bold, strong and quite masculine heading font you use inside. You have left the idea of "hand writing" in favor of a very curvy, almost feminine font. Is this a confused disconnected approach... or do you have a concept to back this up? I'll need to hear it before deciding whether this cover font makes sense.
2. Department: make sure your 3 vertical images at the top of the page are VALUE ADDED choices. Do they support the content?
3. Spread: Some of the feedback above comments on the relationship of the image "hand" to the other elements around it. I think we are questioning this hand because we don't know what it is doing. The heading type (The New Face of Hunger) is covering up an important element of this photo... the 2 outstretched hands of the man. We do not see the connection between the top hand to the bottom hands. I suggested this earlier to you, and will suggest it again: reposition the heading so the important "action" in the photo has not been lost.
Your gutter margin, as Tobias suggests, is too small on this spread... which means it might be too small on your master page and become a problem in future layouts? Please address this.
Nice work, it's great to see the sample pages coming together like this.
My only comment right now would be on the cover the knife looks really strange maybe make it look more like a knife or place it differently and then the W in what and M in men is the only part of ur typeface that isn't connecting to anything else I would have them connect like the rest of the words
ReplyDeleteI like the second and third the most, at first I liked the cover but after close inspection I find its missing something. I feel like maybe a different color text would have been a bit nicer and stand out but not seem separate from the border images. The second I like only thing that bothers me is the N being separate from the EWS it need to get closer or they all need to separate.
ReplyDeleteAlso maybe do a very light opacity for the Food Magazine for the spread don't place it there it is so close to the hand it takes away from the image.
ReplyDelete2 things on the feature spread: First, I have no problem with the logo but the hand seems to be a tad distracting for me. What if you add the white dots under the hand so it seems as if the hand is dropping them into the title so that it creates a flow from the logo the entire way to your body copy. Second, the gutter is to small for me. You may want to add some space there to let the copy breath.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the text on the cover came out great.
ReplyDeleteJose - you have some good feedback above, and I'll add my thoughts here:
ReplyDelete1. Cover: The typeface with swashes is an interesting choice, especially with the bold, strong and quite masculine heading font you use inside. You have left the idea of "hand writing" in favor of a very curvy, almost feminine font. Is this a confused disconnected approach... or do you have a concept to back this up? I'll need to hear it before deciding whether this cover font makes sense.
2. Department: make sure your 3 vertical images at the top of the page are VALUE ADDED choices. Do they support the content?
3. Spread: Some of the feedback above comments on the relationship of the image "hand" to the other elements around it. I think we are questioning this hand because we don't know what it is doing. The heading type (The New Face of Hunger) is covering up an important element of this photo... the 2 outstretched hands of the man. We do not see the connection between the top hand to the bottom hands. I suggested this earlier to you, and will suggest it again: reposition the heading so the important "action" in the photo has not been lost.
Your gutter margin, as Tobias suggests, is too small on this spread... which means it might be too small on your master page and become a problem in future layouts? Please address this.
Nice work, it's great to see the sample pages coming together like this.